Coping Skills I Come Back to Again and Again
When I talk with clients about coping skills, I’m usually not trying to hand them a long list of things they “should” be doing. Most of the time, I’m helping them find a few simple tools that feel doable when their mind is racing or their emotions are running high.
There’s no single coping skill that works for every situation, but over the years I’ve noticed that certain skills tend to be more helpful than others. Most of us need a handful we can rotate through, depending on the kind of moment we’re in. I often talk with clients about creating a list of skills that they can rotate through depending on what is coming up for them and what they have access to at the time (e.g. when they are at work or school vs. at home).
Below are some of the strategies I find myself suggesting often. Hopefully there are at least a couple that you can add to your repertoire:
Grounding Skills You Can Use Anywhere
These skills are helpful to calm your body and mind and bring you back to the present and out of anxiety or dissociation, no matter where you are:
The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
This is one of my go-to grounding tools because it’s simple and interrupts the spiraling that can happen when anxiety takes over by giving your mind something concrete but simple to do. All you have to do is name:
5 things you can see
4 things you can feel
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
2. Temperature Shifts
Splashing cold water on your face, holding an ice pack to your chest, taking a shower, or stepping outside for a minute can help your body reset quickly.
3. Small Sensory Anchors
Various kinds of soothing or stimulating sensory items can help with grounding yourself and calming your nervous system. Using fidget toys, lighting a candle, and petting my cat are my personal favorites!
A scented lotion
A favorite candle
A soothing playlist
A textured object to hold or play with
Behavioral Strategies
Balancing Productivity and Fun
People often find that they feel their best when they have a mix of activities that help them feel productive and those that are enjoyable and less productive. Too much of one can lead us to feel stressed or purposeless. Making sure you have enough of both in your day can be helpful. You can even combine them together such as by:
Folding a few towels while watching a favorite show
Doing a 5-minute kitchen tidy before stepping outside for fresh air
Sending one email and then taking five minutes to stretch or listen to music
2. Change Your Environment
Sometimes we can change our energy by going into a different room, sitting in a different chair, or leaving our space briefly to use the bathroom or fill our water bottles. It is simple but sometimes shifts things just enough to feel helpful.
3. Reaching Out For Help or Distraction
Reach out for support from someone who understands what you are going through. If that doesn’t feel like an option right now, reaching out to someone who can be a fun distraction is also helpful. Sometimes it’s texting someone who makes you laugh, sending a meme, or asking a friend to sit on the phone with you while you cook dinner can shift how you feel even if you are not talking about what feels hard right now.
Conclusion
Not every strategy on this list will feel like a fit, and that’s okay. Others will work sometimes and not during other times. And maybe a few strategies will work most of the time. My hope is that a few of these practices offer you something steady to lean on. Over time, you might get better at noticing what your mind and body best respond to and what feels the most helpful.
If you want to experiment, try picking one skill from each category and noticing which ones help you feel even a small shift. Over time, you might build your own list of tools that feel familiar and accessible, and some of them might even start to feel automatic. Thank you for taking the time to read today and for considering these new ways to get through tough feelings.
