How to Find the Right Therapist
Finding a therapist is similar to finding any healthcare provider in many ways, but there are some factors that make it a bit different. Like with other providers, you want to find someone who is capable, kind, and is within your price range or accepts your insurance.
But unlike other providers, the connection you feel with your therapist is extra important, as it impacts both your experience of being in therapy and the outcomes you can expect; there is much research that shows that the quality of the therapist-client relationship is the most important determining factor in the success of therapy.
Given how important the connection is, it makes sense that the process of finding a therapist can feel overwhelming. Today I’m going to share some thoughts on where to find a therapist and how to sort through your options.
Where to Look
There are a few main places where it can be helpful to look for a therapist.
Your insurance company’s listing: This is a great way to find someone who is in-network with your insurance company. However, directory listings tend not to include a lot of information about the therapist or their approach, so you may need to do further research on the options you find.
Directory listings (e.g. Psychology Today): The therapist listings on Psychology Today are a great resource because they allow you to filter by variables such as location, insurance, therapy approach, etc. They tend to be more detailed than what is available on the listing from your insurance company, as they allow therapists to include more information about their practice, including a photo and a description of how they work and who they help.
Recommendations from others: If you know others who are in therapy, you can ask that person if they would recommend their therapist (if you would be comfortable seeing the same person they do), or if their therapist has any recommendations. Doctors and other healthcare providers can also provide recommendations.
How to Decide Which Therapist to Choose
When you have a list of therapists, it can sometimes be overwhelming to sort through and determine which one(s) you’d like to reach out to. There are a couple of ways I’d suggest narrowing down the list.
The first is the practical pieces, particularly insurance and fees, since this tends to be the easiest place to start. If you plan to use your insurance, make sure that the provider is in-network. This is often listed on their directory page or website if they have one. If you are using your insurance, the rate that you pay will be determined by your insurance company. If you are doing private pay, fees will likely also be listed on their directory listing or website.
If you plan to have sessions in person, checking the therapist’s location is also important.
If there are particular techniques that you are looking for (e.g. CBT, EMDR), that is a good way to rule therapists in or out as well.
“What ultimately differentiates [therapists] is how connected and comfortable you feel when interacting with them”
Beyond the practical pieces, I suggest using the photos, videos, and written materials that the therapists post on their directory listings or website and consider who you feel most comfortable speaking with. There are many therapists that have similar levels of training and experience, so what ultimately differentiates them is how connected and comfortable you feel when interacting with them as people. This is hard to judge completely until you actually have a session, but sometimes you can gain a sense of this through how they write.
What to Say When You Reach Out
Once you determine which therapists you want to reach out to, the next step is to determine how you want to reach out (email, contact form, phone) and what you’d like to say. I recommend sharing a bit of info about both the practical pieces (insurance if you are using it and what days/times you would be available for sessions) and the things you are looking for help with. It is okay to be brief with this, as you will go into more detail later if you decide to work together. You can also include questions you have for the therapist and ask for a free consultation if they offer one.
Here is a sample email:
Hi [therapist],
I am a college student looking for therapy for [issue; e.g. anxiety, stress related to a breakup, etc.]. I have [insurance] and am looking for a therapist who can meet on [days/times you are available]. Please let me know if you think you would be a good fit and if you are available for a consultation.
[Your Name]
The Free Consultation
Some therapists offer a free consultation. These are typically phone conversations that are about 15 minutes in length and are meant to give you a chance to ask questions and learn more about what therapy might look like with a particular therapist and also gives the therapist a better understanding of what you are looking for help with. These tend to be optional, but can be really helpful.
If you do one, I would suggest writing down the questions you have for the therapist so that they are easy for you to remember, and think of a concise (2-3 sentence) description of what you are seeking help for. The therapist may ask you some clarifying questions, but going in with a short description can help you to organize your thoughts. Since the consultation is fairly short, you likely won’t be going into a lot of detail right away, so don’t worry if it feels like there is still a lot to say. If you decide to work with that therapist, you will have lots of time later on to expand on what you talked about in the consultation.
A Final Note
Finding a therapist can be hard, but it is well-worth the effort to find a therapist that you have a good connection with. If you would like to schedule a consultation with me to talk more about what it would be like to work together, please visit my Contact Me page. I wish you all the best in finding a good match!
